Some Alone Time Is Good For You

Too often, we shy away from time spent alone but I believe, for me personally at least, there is great value in alone time. Great value in taking time to listen to your own thoughts. To process them. To give ourselves time to see things from a different perspective. And, to grow from listening to our own voice over the voices of those around us.

Sometimes our hearts are filled with pain. Sometimes we feel uninspired. And sometimes, all we need is to rest our minds and our bodies. In our busy daily lives this can feel impossible to do. We need to take ourselves away from it all. We need alone time to re-energise and reconnect with ourselves and our purpose. And we need time to process our emotions instead of hiding from them.

A Time and Place for Everything

The way I see it there is a time and a place for being inspired by the people in our lives. Time for interactive, tactile inspiration. And then there’s time for introspection. Time for reflecting on our own place in this world. On our own personal approach to life and on our own emotional state, etc. We cannot gain the same kind of insights into our own emotional state through interacting with other people. We need to take the time to listen to our own inner voice.

For some of us this is really hard. We feel the need to bounce ideas off people. The need for continuous feedback to support our own natural responses to life. What I’d like us to realise is that tuning into our own viewpoint is fundamental to how we experience life. Otherwise, we are essentially living our lives seeing the world through someone else’s glasses. We need to gain a new, personal, perspective on life.

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What to Do when you’re Alone

There isn’t checklist of how to be alone, but what I can say, is to take it easy on yourself. If you’re naturally somebody who doesn’t enjoy time alone start by reading a book. You might think ‘well, why can’t I watch my favourite TV show?’, but the aim of the exercise is to learn to sit quietly with yourself. You don’t need to sit in agonizing silence or force anything, simply do something that allows you to be still with yourself.

Maybe put your headphones on and go for a long walk. Ideally listening to music instead of a podcast, for example. We want to get the wheels turning in your head and you want to be able to befriend that inner voice. And the only way to do that is to slowly open ourselves up to it. Open yourself up to yourself! Other good options are any type of art such as painting or pottery, or cooking. These kinds of activities are introspective. Mindful activities. They allow you to engage with life while also allowing you to process your thoughts. Think of it as a safe space for your thoughts to work their way through your system.

What if you’re Afraid of your Inner Voice?

I think it’s safe to say that most people who do not enjoy being alone, are in a sense afraid to be alone. They’re afraid to be alone with the voices in their heads, with the thoughts that bombard them. Which is why I said to be gentle with yourself. I believe that if you are patient and you sit quietly, perhaps in meditation, and you allow the surface level thoughts, those nagging negative thoughts, to drift away you will realise that what is underneath is calm and loving. We just need to learn to give ourselves a chance.

I realize you might resist what I am saying. Try to give yourself space to work through the barriers to that calm and loving space. Accept that the negative thoughts will come up and understand that, like bubbles floating to the surface, they have to rise up to be able to break free. Let the process unravel naturally. Negative thoughts and emotions can be released but there is a process to it. So, accept them and then let them go. Seeing it observing the bubbles and then letting them pop!

Know there is Love in the Silence

What I wish for you to know is that the anxiety and doubt we experience in life comes from all the outside influences, not from our souls. Getting past those external influences can be very, very tough, make no mistake about that. But, if you know this to be true: your inner truth is love, then you can slowly open yourself up to embracing that all important alone time.

If you feel worried about the negative voices, remind yourself that these voices are not you. They are echoes of societies impressions on you. Your true self sees only love and the more time you spend quietly listening for that truth, the closer you will get to it. Be brave and take those first steps to opening yourself up to the love that is at the core of who you are. Cherish your alone time as something holy. The blessing that it is. Be present with yourself because what matters more than being able to be at peace in the presence of your own soul?

Thank you for reading!

Steph x

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