Being Alone: Is It a Good Thing?
Does being alone equal being lonely?
There is a vast difference between being alone and being lonely. Loneliness is a feeling of separateness, a feeling of emptiness that can be overwhelming. Being alone doesn’t need to feel like this. In fact, being alone should be a time to reconnect with yourself and reassess your priorities. A time spent entirely on your own life questions, goals and aspirations.
I love spending time alone because I find life can become too ‘noisy’. There is so much going on around us every day, in society and in our own homes, that we sometimes need to take a break from it all. We forget that we are more than the 9-5. More than the School Lunch Prep and the Birthday Party planning. Spending time alone gives us an opportunity to remember our own wants and needs. It’s self-care at it’s finest.
What if you don’t like being alone?
For many people being alone brings on negative emotions. When this happens you need to ask yourself why that is. Why are you afraid to be alone with your own thoughts and emotions? To me this is an indicator that there is something that you need to work through. There is a reason why you don’t want to hear the thoughts in your own head.
Let me ask you this. Do you find your own self talk often turns towards the negative? Do you rip yourself to pieces because of the way you spoke to your in-laws or the fact that you just can’t seem to give up the junkfood? Or, are there things from your past that are troubling you, that flood into your consciousness when you are left alone? Does time alone leave you thinking about all the reasons your life isn’t what it should be? Do you come down hard for all your shortcomings?
We all have things to work through in life.
You are not alone. We all have hang-ups and mistakes we’ve made. But, what if, instead of shying away from being alone, we used that time to reflect on where our hang-ups stem from? What if we understand that the only way to heal or grow is to stop and listen to what’s really going on in our head (and heart).
Being alone is your opportunity to really listen and understand the worries and pain you are carrying with you every day. It may not be an easy process but you have to start to get through! Once you learn to listen to yourself you are able to understand, forgive and love yourself. Once that happens you will learn to love being by yourself. Why, because you have been kind enough to listen. Because you finally see yourself as a friend, a confidant, a rock. We all need to learn to be our own rock! At the end of the day we need to be able to rely on ourselves to be there. When things go wrong you should be able to count on yourself to get you through.
Learn to love yourself
If being alone is hard it might be time to look in the mirror and see all your good traits. Learn to love yourself! Count your good traits on your fingers until you run out of digits! Recognize how much you have to offer in this life. When you realize how unique and special you are you will start to love spending time with yourself. Then a snowball effect begins. You want to spend more time with yourself. Next, you open your heart up to what makes you happy. Finally you start to see ways and opportunities to make these things happen in your life. You realize that to find happiness you first need to find yourself. To do this, you have to get to know yourself!
A great, gentle way to be alone with your thoughts is through your hobbies. Take some time to do a one person hobby like reading, painting, baking, woodwork, pottery, etc. This is an excellent way to spend time with your thoughts without being overwhelmed by their message. Trust me, you can’t get away from them, but you can gently allow them in to work through what they have to share with you.
Some inspirational quotes on being alone:
If you feel uncomfortable with the idea of being alone, this quote will seem strange to you. For me, it makes perfect sense. Once you allow yourself to ‘just be’ instead of judging yourself for everything you do (or don’t do), you can begin to feel at peace when you are alone.
We are both our own biggest fan and our own worst enemy. Fighting your way through the critic in your head is like winning the battle. When you realize that almost all your fears are nothing but illusions, you can finally step into your full potential. And, then, you will LOVE being alone. You will know that you have found your closest confidant. It all starts and ends with YOU.
While looking for quotes on being alone I found this one that really stood out for me. I think this is beautiful, and true. We are so disconnected in this life. Being alone, especially in nature, is an instant fix unlike any other. You reconnect with nature and with yourself.
I said earlier that being alone is the best kind of self-care. We talk about self-care because without looking out for our own well-being we cannot live a happy and fulfilling life. Being able to cherish who you are as a person is a massive part of this. Take the time to honour your own longings. Take the time to quiet that negative voice, to remind it that you are enough just as you are. And lastly, take the time to appreciate the silence, because it is only when you quiet the white noise of daily life that you will hear own your inner message.
If you enjoyed this blog you might enjoy Journaling: A Path to Self-Discovery
Also, I found this really interesting post Things To Do By Yourself on VeryWellMind.com