Don’t Let Limiting Beliefs Stop You
I played it small in my 20s and my 30s and halfway through my 40s and then I realised I wasn’t prepared to do that to myself anymore. I realised I had been preaching for my own limitations for too long and it was time to get over it and move on to the life I had not only dreamed of, but the life I had been worthy of all along. It was time to stop preaching for my limitations and step into my worthiness, and the life that was waiting for me on the other side of fear.
But, Wait, It’s Not That Easy
Here’s the sticking point. Personal growth is not a linear experience. Neither is healing from your own limiting belief systems. So, what happened? What did I do? I came up with some new examples of limiting beliefs. I told myself I was too old to try to redefine myself and my life. Limitations. I told myself I didn’t know where to begin. Limitations. I told myself people would judge. Limitations.
And, eventually, I told myself none of that matters. What matters is being 75 and wondering why you never chased that dream. Wondering why you put so damn much weight on what others might think. What does preaching for your limitations look like for you? Are you aware of doing this to yourself? Can you think of some examples of limiting beliefs in your own life? Examples of those times when you were convincing yourself of all the reasons why you were ‘better off’ not even trying? Trust me you are so very far from alone!
We All Suffer Limitations
Like I said, you are not alone. In fact, every one of us suffers from the weight of expectation and the limitations we put on ourselves to try to protect ourselves from the let-down of not reaching the expected goal or achievement. The fascinating thing, though, is the psychological mess we inflict on ourselves to stop ourselves from even trying! We actually believe it is better to be ‘safe than sorry’. What’s that! We would rather sit quietly in a corner wasting away, than dare to dream!
We make excuses for why we can’t create the life that we long for. What we really need to do is make a stand against these excuses. We need to look at them and realize most of them are as ridiculous as a toddler arguing over the bucket and spade in the sandpit. But, we just can’t help ourselves because it feels safe! Urgh, why are we adults so very much like children sometimes?
Too Old Too Young
Just this heading is laughable. But, hopefully it helps you to realize that it’s all about perspective. Reframe the way you see yourself. Know that if you are 20, thinking you are too young, there is a 50yr old thinking they are too old. If you are ‘too young’ presumably you feel inexperienced. So, start! Know that your age is a massive advantage. You have your life ahead of you and many opportunities and experiences to help enrich you. All you have to do is start. It takes lessons, bruised knees (and maybe egos) and upsets along the way to create a stronger and more experienced version of you. Don’t shy away from it, rather let it empower you.
If you are ‘too old’ you should know better! You’ve been through enough life experiences to know that no one has all the answers and life is one big classroom! You will never know everything or experience everything, but you can keep embracing change until your last breath. There are sky divers in their 90’s and high school graduates in their 70’s. If you want it badly enough it’s yours for the taking. Besides, you’re getting older, so you value every moment that much more, right? It’s time we called bs on this and just did what we feel called to do, regardless of our age.
Judgement and Failure
The harsh reality here is being judgy is just kind of a ‘people’ thing. The good news is that it’s their problem. Don’t let it be yours. There never was and never will be any shame in trying. Even if you fail at something you get to ask them if they even tried! You get to look yourself in the mirror and know that you showed up for the person staring back at you and there is great power in that.
Whatever your dream that you are chasing, ask yourself this. Are you more concerned with what ‘they’ think (really, now, we’re talking deep honesty) or are you concerned about letting yourself down? If you realize you’re actually more afraid of the judging affecting you on a self-worth level because it will hurt so much, it’s not really about them. You need to work regularly on reminding yourself that failing does not make you a failure and it does not lessen your value as a person. So, stop letting the fear of judgement or failure get in your way.
I know how this feels. This blog is my passion project and has been for a few years now, but it is not funded by endless resources! It is an ongoing labour of love. But, because it means so much to me I am not going to let my limitations stand in my way. I am committed to putting a positive message out into the world. And, I am committed to showing up for all of you that are out there reading these posts. Showing up matters!
As examples of limiting beliefs go, money is certainly one of the most powerful. But, it can be overcome with determination and belief in what you are wanting to achieve in life. Yes, it could mean taking on extra work (I work another job to fund my dream!) or it could mean saving for a year to be able to pay for that course you’ve been dreaming of enrolling in. The point here is to make the shift from making it about the money to making it about the passion and drive you have for what you want out of life. Try seeing it from a different perspective and taking the weight off the money long enough to actually tap into the feelings of what makes that dream worthwhile for you. Then ask yourself what ALL your options are for making it a reality.
This List Could Go On, And On!
So, we’ve looked at a few examples of limiting beliefs, but let’s be honest there are many more where they came from. There are influences from cultures, religion, background etc. There is the overwhelmingly prevalent struggle with self-worth that travels with most of us through our lives. There are different reasons and different situations for all of us. But, the one common denominator is this: the only one who can change these beliefs is us! We can change our own story.
First, we have to see that this is true for us. We have to a) notice that these limiting beliefs are chains that, once broken, we CAN be free from, and b) we have to be willing to stay the course because we know we are worth it. Because we know that waiting for life to be what we want it to be isn’t a recipe for success. We have to take charge and work towards our dreams.
When Does it Stop!
This may sound like a cliché and it may even annoy the crap out of you but it really does stop when you make the decision to make it stop. When you make the decision that your dreams are more important than all the above examples of limiting beliefs or any number of other limitations that we put on ourselves. And, I just want to remind you here that the limitations we believe others put on ourselves are ultimately up to us to overcome! We have chosen to accept their version of what our life looks like. That can stop today, if you make a decision not to accept that as your truth anymore.
We are all unique and wonderful beings living this one precious life. It is so very, very important that we see that our life must be lived authentically. We must learn to live for us! There is no amount of love for another that can change this. Our focus needs to start with us because it is the only way we can show up as our best selves in this life, and the only way we can be happy. I hope you enjoyed the blog and I hope that you take the time to step back and look at your limiting beliefs, find the root cause, and yank them out! You deserve a full, blessed and happy life!
If you enjoyed this blog, head over and check out this one: Using Affirmations for Self-Love Daily
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