Finding Your Why
Life Altering Change starts with Finding your Why
Let me start with the process of soul searching that I found myself going on as I started the process of finding my why. You would think your why would be obvious, and in some ways it is, but it requires a deeper level of questioning. A ‘big picture’ kind of thinking. On the surface my why is easy, it is my family! Family time, as much as I can get of it! When you think about the shortness of this life experience and the way we spend our time, the percentage of it that is spent with the one’s we love is a sad statistic indeed! So, yes, a big chunk of my why is family. After all, they are the ones we do it all for! They are the ones that matter at the end of the day. They absolutely should be our why!
But, my why also goes deeper than this. It goes to the core of who I am and what matters to me as a spiritual being. One of the main reasons that I started this blog, was because I believe that many of us feel misunderstood and alone. We have a message in our hearts that we want heard. Or, we don’t quite know what our message is but we know it’s there waiting to be uncovered. We feel like we are walking this path alone.
We are here to guide each other through this life
I wanted to share my personal experiences and lessons on personal growth, to be there to let you know you are not alone. To walk you through the questions and struggles and help you realize that every step forward, no matter how small, is growth!
I believe that when we have a nagging inside us, a voice that needs to be heard, that we need to sit up and pay attention, that it’s time for a change. It’s time to reassess our priorities and where our heart is at. One of the greatest tragedies in this life is the masses of us that are not honest with ourselves and our true identities. That haven’t learnt to understand their Why.
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What is your Why?
A reason to get up in the morning. A driving force. Or a higher purpose. It doesn’t matter what words you use to describe or explain the calling in your heart. It only matters that you are honest with yourself and that you live your life for YOU. This doesn’t mean putting yourself above those that you love. Having those special people in our lives is extremely important and they make up a huge part of who we are and who we become. What it does mean is that In order to be truly happy you have to be able to see the bigger picture, to understand that your happiness and the happiness of those around you is made up of many levels (or layers). Each one of these levels has its own significance, its own strengths and weaknesses. Hey, we humans are nothing if not complicated!
I’ve always believed that life is about balance. Every area of our lives has to be well balanced for us to be happy. So for all the good that you do in the world it does not serve you if you do not do good for yourself. Honour yourself for the unique and special person that you are. In other words, if you are too busy being Mom, Employee, Spouse and neglect your own needs you WILL NOT be happy. So, while my family is at the top of the list, I now understand that being true to who I am is the only way to true happiness. Again, balance! Be the best Mom you can be, but don’t forget to be a good ‘self’. Don’t neglect yourself in favour of keeping the masses happy.
Tell-tale signs to uncover your Why
Let’s look at an example. If you find that you are stuck in a job where you are not fulfilled. You work 5 days a week and have little left to give at the end of your day. Your obligations lean towards the job more than to your family, and family is everything! This is one of our biggest ‘why’ moments. It is a ‘taking stock’ of our priorities that so many of us avoid. But, until you take this seriously you will live an ‘unbalanced’ and unhappy life.
What about this. You have a passion that you have pushed aside because it just doesn’t fit in with the way life has turned out for you. What if this passion is actually your Why? What if it is the very essence of who you are in this lifetime and where your greatest contribution to this life resides? There is a quote by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer that says, ‘Don’t die with your music still inside you.’ This quite literally stops me in my tracks. No one wants to live a ‘What If’ life. And it all starts with your why!
The Process of Finding your Why
This involves LOTS of questions and even more listening. Here are a few to get you thinking:
- What do you most want out of life?
- When do you feel the most ‘yourself’?
- What gives you a sense of belonging or accomplishment?
- What would you do even if you weren’t paid a cent for doing it?
- How would it feel to you if you focused your energy on your why?
- How would it feel if you chose to ignore it and carried on with the status quo?
- What would leave the biggest hole if it was taken from you for good?
The benefits of Finding your Why
Undoubtedly, understanding your why brings a sense of peace to your life. It gives your life more balance because you understand that there is a place for everything and you are able to make sense of where your priorities must lie. By honouring yourself you finally feel understood because you have taken control of your own life, your own decisions and your own future.
You become driven and passionate about what you are doing with your life. You know that every decision is yours and you are at peace with the direction your life is going in.
When you know your why nothing can stop you. You have a true north to work towards. There is no stopping to ask for directions, your course is set. What a liberating feeling!
My final thoughts are, stop telling yourself the story that everything else comes first. You matter! Your thoughts, passions and ideas matter. This doesn’t have to be a drastic, overnight turn around in your life. Just start the process of uncovering what you were meant to do in this life. Question the status quo. Question your Why!
Looking for a great tool to help you? I recommend Your Dream Life Starts Here
If you enjoyed this head over and read What Does Personal Growth Mean Anyway?
Or head over to Elephant Journal to read my post Dreams vs Ambition