Do You Need To Master Your Emotions?

We’re an emotional species. It’s part of being human.  So, why do we feel that we need to control our emotions? Why do we think mastering our emotions makes us ‘better’ somehow?
I’d like to look at mastering your emotions from a different perspective in this blog because I believe we need to befriend our emotions, and NOT try to control them. We need to reconnect with our humanity, and learn to master our emotions through lovingly accepting them instead.

So, for us to learn to lean into our emotions instead of sneering at them distastefully, we need to look at the role that they play in our lives.  Only when we are open to getting to know them on a deeper level can we understand, accept and (I use the term loosely) master our emotions.

What is the Purpose of our Emotions?

It’s important to understand that our emotions serve a purpose. They’re not just some inconvenience or irritation. Our emotions range from joy to pain, suffering, heartache, love.  Each one of these has a role to play in our lives. They make up the fabric of our lives and how we experience it. Without emotions, where would we be?
So, this begs the question.  Is there a need to master our emotions? Or is it more a question of first understanding them and second learning to manage them?  Wouldn’t mastering imply ‘bettering’ in some way.  To me, it sounds almost competitive.  Like outsmarting our emotions.  Maybe this is the sticking point for me because that just doesn’t feel right.  Or, quite frankly, possible.

Managing vs Mastering

Here’s my conundrum. In mastering it implies that the power is in your hands, which I don’t believe we will ever achieve with our emotions. I believe our emotions need to be seen not as something to control, but as something to learn to dance with.
Managing on the other hand implies learning to work alongside your emotions. This makes more sense to me. I don’t believe that we can ever fully master our emotions, or should I say ‘should’ master our emotions. When we embrace them and the role they play we can, however, learn to manage them as they arise.  This is a softer approach.  More of a team effort mindset.  A ‘how can we get through this together’ attitude.

Stop Seeing your Emotions as a Weakness

Mastering your emotions comes from the urge to control. The reason we want to control our emotions is because somewhere along the line, we’ve been made to believe that our emotions are a sign of weakness. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
Our emotions are literally our strength. They guide us through every life experience. They warn us of danger, they fill us with joy, and they allow us to mourn. Our emotions are our most precious gift.  And, while the lessons can be difficult ones to swallow sometimes, they also provide us with our greatest growth.  They shape us in every area of our lives.  So, never deny yourself your emotions!


Master your Emotions of Anger

Anger feels ick.  It makes us feel out of control and weak.  And, it absolutely needs to be managed!  But, there is always a reason for our anger.  Believe it or not, most of the time it actually has little to do with the issue at hand.  Our anger is like a domino.  It wasn’t really set off by the last domino in the row but by the original act that caused everything to fall down.

We need to learn to put anger into perspective.  Firstly, while it may be possible to master your emotions of anger, there are few people on this earth who can claim to have achieved that.  Besides, I believe once you know that most anger isn’t caused by the situation at hand you can a) gain some perspective, b) manage it in the moment, and c) choose to address what really is causing the anger in the first place.  This new perspective actually can help you take strides towards managing your anger better (but maybe not mastering it).

Master your Emotions of Jealousy

Jealousy comes from insecurity.  Tough to hear, I know.  To my mind the only answer to how to master your emotions of jealousy is self-love.  The more you love and honour yourself the less you concern yourself with how others show up in this life.  It’s a strange thing, but when you love yourself fully you learn to trust life more.  You trust yourself more.

You may think ‘it doesn’t mean I will trust others more’ but that’s not what it’s about.  Self-love gives you a sense of self-reliance.  It means that even if someone else lets you down, you know you’ve got your own back.  You know you are supported and will never feel alone.  It is hard to feel ‘why can’t I have that’ or ‘look how he’s looking at her’ when you feel a sense of confidence in yourself.  You know that you are worthy of all good things and don’t begrudge others for what they have.

Master your Emotions of Sadness

Sadness has so many varying stories but, no matter what is causing it, there is so much strength that can come from working through our sadness.  We all have different ways that we manage this difficult emotion, but I believe in the power of working with the sadness and discovering the strength and resilience that greets you on the other side.

For me, the most important thing I can say about this is that you NEED to allow yourself to feel.  This applies to all of our emotions, but sadness needs processing more than the rest.  Sadness needs your own special kind of medicine.  When I am feeling sad I take myself away to a quiet room and take a nap.  It undoubtedly includes tears and that is GOOD!  I release and then rest.  And, I wake up feeling so much better.  The key is the release.  As with any negative emotion, a healthy release is necessary.  Don’t try to block your sadness, it wants to be heard.  Hear it, feel it and let it go.

Master your Emotions of Love

Ok, so I don’t know that managing or mastering your emotions apply when it comes to love.  Neither one feels right.  Love just is.  Love is like breathing.  Even when we feel anger or sorrow, beneath it all we feel love.  All the other emotions stem from the need for this one beautiful emotion.  So, master it if you must, but I’d rather make it my very best friend.  I’d rather wake up every day knowing it is ruler of my heart.  I’d rather plaster it on walls and shout it from roof tops.

Love, after all, is what it is all about.  So, you tell me.  When we experience emotions such as love and we see the power and the beauty behind such emotions, why (oh why) do we want to master these emotions?  Why don’t we glorify them for the magnificent role they play in allowing us to fully experience this short moment on this earth.  Breathe them all in, cherish them all, learn from them all!  And forget trying to be their master.

Thanks for reading!

Steph x

My blogs are all written with love and available to be read for free.  I am so grateful for any support from my readers. If you enjoy my blogs a great way to keep them coming is to:
Buy Me A Coffee

If you enjoyed this blog, head over and check out this one: Some Alone Time Is Good For You

Let me share some of my favourite Personal Growth resources with you!

I’m always looking for Personal Growth courses and Udemy have so many at affordable prices.  Here’s a list of Courses

Pin for later! or design your own on Canva