Mindsets that Hold us Back
Mindsets that Hold us Back
We have many individualized reasons that hold us back in life, that keep us from living our best lives. This list can become long and complicated, but I want to look at some of the biggest beliefs that weigh us down, the mindsets that hold us back, and how you can master your mindset. These are the reasons that affect most of us and they are also reasons that can be overcome!
Think about each of these as they relate to you. We are all different with different circumstances and views so you might have a different take on these than I do. These are my guidelines as I see them, the mindsets that we hold in our lives that we can work on so that they don’t hold us back from being the best version of ourselves. In order to master your mindset you have to identify them, so here are my top 5:
Believing that there isn’t enough to go around is something that has been instilled in us from an early age. It is just the way the world is. There are hungry people in this world and this truth weighs heavy on our collective consciousness. My worry is that it leaves us with a sense of lack. You should only take what you need. The imbalance in the world leaves us feeling that we are not worthy.
But, don’t go believing there isn’t enough for you. The imbalance in the world has created an ingrained belief that we are not worthy and that there is not enough. The inequality in this world is nothing short of tragic, but it is not a reflection on you or the abundance in this world. The fear of lack makes us question whether we deserve the good things in life. We feel that everything that we have takes away from someone else. This is a heavy burden to carry! We can make a decision to share the love and to help others where we can, but the impact on our subconscious minds is that we don’t deserve, and that cannot help anyone.
Try to look at the abundance all around you and start to believe that you are worthy of your share in this abundance. What you choose to do with the abundance in your life is up to you, a kind heart is likely to share the abundance, so why not believe you are worthy of it, knowing part of that abundance is the gift of sharing? I believe that the more of us there that master the abundance mindset and have the mentality of sharing the abundance, the less there will be those that hold on to it because of that fear/lack mentality.
Being afraid to take a bold move towards your dream life is a hurdle every single one of us face. Fear can be completely debilitating. Ask me, I know! The funny thing about fear, though, is it disappears as soon as you take that first step. I mean, literally, as if by magic!
When it comes to fear your best chance to master your mindset is to ask yourself ‘What is the worst that can happen?’. When the fear is related to taking a chance on your dreams the worst case scenario often is not nearly as bad as your heart palpitations will have you believe. Try to put it into perspective. Then ask yourself ‘What would my life look like if I actually tried, and succeeded?’. Your chances of failing are 100% if you don’t try so look fear in the eye and do it anyway!
Confidence and fear go hand in hand. You don’t believe you will succeed, you aren’t confident in your abilities, and then the fear sets in. But, just like fear, this can be overcome. We humans are incredible in that we are malleable! We can work on ourselves, grow and mold and discover confidence within us. Confidence is just a trick of the mind. It has nothing to do with what you look like, where you graduated from or who you hang out with.
True confidence comes from within. It is self love and self respect that allows you to walk through this life content with yourself and your abilities. It’s about knowing your self worth and that kind of confidence is magnetic. Everyone wants it and everyone wants to be around it. And, it can be taught! There are ways to boost the mind, and ways to trick the mind, into feeling more confident. Check out these courses on Confidence on Udemy!
Another belief that can destroy our chances of a happy and successful life is the ridiculous notion that we are not worthy. Somewhere along the line you’ve had this idea embedded into your subconscious that says you don’t deserved happiness, wealth, health – you name it. This is a powerful subconscious bs story that we have to work really hard to replace with self-affirming beliefs. This is a huge challenge but you need to know, right here, right now that we are ALL worthy! To master your mindset regarding your worth you need to know you are not here by accident or some oopsie made by the cosmos! You are meant to be here, a very deliberate part of the design of this life. Every single thing that has happened in your life to tell you otherwise is probably part of someone else’s story that they have pushed on to you!
If you suffer from this debilitating belief I want you to make a commitment to yourself to work on reinforcing your absolute worthiness! Why would you ever question your place in this world? Look at yourself every morning with love. List 5 traits about yourself that are amazing every day. Repeat affirmations that fill you with love. Above all, be kind to yourself! You will see that the more you treat yourself kindly (watch out for those negative comments in your head!), the more you will begin to feel a genuine love and acceptance, and worthiness, for yourself.
5. Criticism and Negativity
There are so many voices in our heads! We have the voices of the people around us and we have the voice inside our heads. These voices are often not kind. Years of listening to these voices with their negative feedback can lead to a mindset of criticism and negativity. These voices shape the way we think and the way we see the world, and more importantly ourselves.
Find a way to tune in to the tone of these voices. Are they putting you down? Are they over critical of everything? This way of seeing the world becomes so normal for you that you don’t even realize it is damaging. You begin to expect the worst, think you aren’t good enough and look for signs that all your worst fears are about to come true. This mindset will hold you back from being able to see the good in your life. Learn to tune in to when you are putting yourself down and mentally rap yourself on the knuckles. Once you start noticing this negative mindset you will realize how damaging and unnecessary it is. The next time you do something completely human like break a glass and hear that voice saying ‘you idiot’ you will be able to stop, say ‘wait a second, it was just a mistake’ and be kinder to yourself. Not only will this change the way you treat yourself, it will cause a ripple effect in your life.
What can we Do about it?
Through my personal growth journey I’ve come to realize something really important. We are not defined by our stories. Everything we think we know about our lives can be changed, by us, if only we make the decision to not accept it anymore. We have the power to change our mindset, our pre-programmed ideas about who we are and ultimately our future. It starts with deciding what you are prepared to accept and what you want your life to look like.
I have realized that I can only be more once I’ve made a decision to be more. That means making a decision to master your mindset. You don’t make a decision that you are worthy of a particular type of life and it magically appears. What happens, though, is you start to firmly hold on to that image. You discover a grit and determination that you didn’t know you have. So, through all the self doubt, you keep going. You keep reading the books, doing the courses, saying the prayers that your soul needs for you to get to that place you need to be. When you make that commitment to yourself anything becomes possible. Do you believe you can change your life? If not, what is the reason? Think about what you consider to be out of your control. Is it a person standing in your way or is it a mindset? When other people are involved things becoming more challenging, but sometimes it is just a mindset that we can work on changing. Start with that and see where it takes you!
Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments ?
If you enjoyed this blog you’ll love Self-Talk: A Thank You Letter to Myself
Let me share some of my favourite Personal Growth resources with you!
For Personal Growth, Meditation and Yoga my favourites are: Gaia and Mindvalley
For up leveling your skills, check out the courses on Udemy and Creative Live
Pin for later! or design your own on Canva
I suffer from a lot of fear and lack of confidence, so I absolutely can relate to this! Thank you for sharing this post and your tips for dealing with these mindsets!
I think once you recognize that they are getting in your way, and that you can change them, you are already on your way! I hope this helps!
I really like this post. Great reminders to be mindful of your mindset!
Thanks, glad you found it helpful!
Needed that reminder!
Glad you liked it, Joni, thanks for reading!
Thanks for the insight. I can personally recognize fear in a lot of decisions. It doesn’t always win, but it’s always there. But it’s not always a bad thing.
Fear has been huge for me too, I am slowly making steps towards taking its power away!
This is just what I needed to read. You’re right, our society makes us think we don’t have enough… of anything! This has created so much anxiety in my life. But I’m working to cope better with it(: and look at all the things I DO have
Gratitude is such a great way to live life from a positive mindset, it goes a long way to help us put things into perspective.
Fear has always been my biggest hold back on things, and not of trying but of a physical I can not do that at all.
Fear was a big one for me too. Starting my blog was a huge lesson for me in taking the plunge and overcoming fear!
I loved this post! Fear will paralyze you into thinking. I often try to reframe my thoughts to lessen the fear.
You are so right, fear creates a story in your head that it is almost impossible to escape but in the end it is just a story and most of the time not the actual reality.
I love this – mindset is so important and half of the time we don’t even realise we are embracing some of these negative mindsets. I definitely struggle with confidence and worthiness. The question you ask at the end “Do you believe you can change your life? If not, what is the reason?” is really thought-provoking. We really could be just a belief away from change, thank you for such an inspiring post 🙂
You are so welcome, Laura, I’m glad it got you thinking. It is only when we start asking those questions that life really does start changing for the better.
Turn fear into lessons. Keep going, keep smiling 🙂
Absolutely! There is a lesson in everything 🙂
All of those mindsets have held me back at some point in my life. I honestly hate how we are programmed to accept it. It wasn’t until last year when I made the decision to do something about it. I made myself change my mind and now I have a growing business and I’m reaching several goals. One quote I’ve read that is so simple, but so true is “If NOTHING changes… NOTHING will change.” This was a great article and reminder that we are in control of ourselves and our mindset!
I love this so much, thanks for sharing! This is exactly what I’m talking about, when you recognize the power to make a change is in your hands you have taken the first step.
Lack, yes! I feel like this isn’t discussed enough.
Agreed! It is a real no-go area!
Great post, as always! It is so imp to know what is holding you back. Identifying is the 1st step and then you can do the change
Thank you for your kind words, Nishtha! I absolutely agree with you, once you identify what’s holding you back to can begin to move forward.
Brilliant article … all these things can hold us back and I love the way you advise how to move forward. We do not have to be defined by the stories. Thank you.
You are welcome! I think that is the main point, not to allow ourselves to be defined by our stories.
Lack & Fear are definitely things I can relate to. Goal for this year is to overcome them
That’s so great, Carlyn! It’s so good when we recognize what our blocks are because then we can work on them!
My biggest fear is fear itself,and how to deal with it. I sometimes have the most scary night mare and I wakeup shaking (not too often though) l know that comes from an over active mind ,but what on earth can I do about it ?
The best thing to do would be to calm your mind before bedtime. Listen to meditation music, read something uplifting or page through old photo albums that make you feel happy. Get your head into a positive place before bed. 🙂