Mindsets that Hold us Back

We have many individualized reasons that hold us back in life, that keep us from living our best lives.  This list can become long and complicated, but I want to look at some of the biggest beliefs that weigh us down, the mindsets that hold us back.  These are the reasons that affect most of us and they are also reasons that can be overcome!

Think about each of these as they relate to you.  We are all different with different circumstances and views so you might have a different take on these than I do.  These are my guidelines as I see them, the mindsets that we hold in our lives that we can work on so that they don’t hold us back from being the best version of ourselves.  Here are my top 5:

1. Lack

Believing that there isn’t enough to go around is something that has been instilled in us from an early age.  It is just the way the world is.  There are hungry people in this world and this truth weighs heavy on our collective consciousness.  My worry is that it leaves us with a sense of lack.  You should only take what you need.   The imbalance in the world leaves us feeling that we are not worthy.  But, don’t go believing there isn’t enough for you.  The imbalance in the world has created an ingrained belief that we are not worthy and that there is not enough.  The inequality in this world is nothing short of tragic, but it is not a reflection on you or the abundance in this world.

The fear of lack makes us question whether we deserve the good things in life.  We feel that everything that we have takes away from someone else.  This is a heavy burden to carry!  We can make a decision to share the love and to help others where we can, but the impact on our subconscious minds is that we don’t deserve, and that cannot help anyone.  Try to look at the abundance all around you and start to believe that you are worthy of your share in this abundance.  What you choose to do with the abundance in your life is up to you, a kind heart is likely to share the abundance, so why not believe you are worthy of it, knowing part of that abundance is the gift of sharing?  I believe that the more of us there are that have the mentality of sharing the abundance the less there will be those that hold on to it because of that fear/lack mentality.

2. Fear

Being afraid to take a bold move towards your dream life is a hurdle every single one of us face.  Fear can be completely debilitating.  Ask me, I know!  The funny thing about fear, though, is it disappears as soon as you take that first step.  I mean, literally, as if by magic!

Your best chance at overcoming fear is to ask yourself ‘What is the worst that can happen?’.  When the fear is related to taking a chance on your dreams the worst case scenario often is not nearly as bad as your heart palpitations will have you believe.  Try to put it into perspective.  Then ask yourself ‘What would my life look like if I actually tried, and succeeded?’.  Your chances of failing are 100% if you don’t try so look fear in the eye and do it anyway!

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3. Confidence

Confidence and fear go hand in hand.  You don’t believe you will succeed, you aren’t confident in your abilities, and then the fear sets in.  But, just like fear, this can be overcome.  We humans are incredible in that we are malleable!  We can work on ourselves, grow and mold and discover confidence within us.  Confidence is just a trick of the mind.  It has nothing to do with what you look like, where you graduated from or who you hang out with.

True confidence comes from within.  It is self love and self respect that allows you to walk through this life content with yourself and your abilities.  It’s about knowing your self worth and that kind of confidence is magnetic.  Everyone wants it and everyone wants to be around it.  And, it can be taught!  There are ways to boost the mind, and ways to trick the mind, into feeling more confident.  Check out these courses on Confidence on Udemy!

4. Worthiness

Another belief that can destroy our chances of a happy and successful life is the ridiculous notion that we are not worthy.  Somewhere along the line you’ve had this idea embedded into your subconscious that says you don’t deserved happiness, wealth, health – you name it.  This is a powerful subconscious bs story that we have to work really hard to replace with self-affirming beliefs.  This is a huge challenge but you need to know, right here, right now that we are ALL worthy!  We are not here by accident or some oopsie made by the cosmos!  You are meant to be here, a very deliberate part of the design of this life.  Every single thing that has happened in your life to tell you otherwise is probably part of someone else’s story that they have pushed on to you!

If you suffer from this debilitating belief I want you to make a commitment to yourself to work on reinforcing your absolute worthiness!  Why would you ever question your place in this world?  Look at yourself every morning with love.  List 5 traits about yourself that are amazing every day.  Repeat affirmations that fill you with love.  Above all, be kind to yourself!  You will see that the more you treat yourself kindly (watch out for those negative comments in your head!), the more you will begin to feel a genuine love and acceptance, and worthiness, for yourself.

5. Criticism and Negativity

There are so many voices in our heads!  We have the voices of the people around us and we have the voice inside our heads.  These voices are often not kind.  Years of listening to these voices with their negative feedback can lead to a mindset of criticism and negativity.  These voices shape the way we think and the way we see the world, and more importantly ourselves.

Find a way to tune in to the tone of these voices.  Are they putting you down?  Are they over critical of everything?  This way of seeing the world becomes so normal for you that you don’t even realize it is damaging.  You begin to expect the worst, think you aren’t good enough and look for signs that all your worst fears are about to come true.  This mindset will hold you back from being able to see the good in your life.  Learn to tune in to when you are putting yourself down and mentally rap yourself on the knuckles.  Once you start noticing this negative mindset you will realize how damaging and unnecessary it is.  The next time you do something completely human like break a glass and hear that voice saying ‘you idiot’ you will be able to stop, say ‘wait a second, it was just a mistake’ and be kinder to yourself.  Not only will this change the way you treat yourself, it will cause a ripple effect in your life.

What can we Do about it?

Through my personal growth journey I’ve come to realize something really important.  We are not defined by our stories.  Everything we think we know about our lives can be changed, by us, if only we make the decision to not accept it anymore.  We have the power to change our mindset, our pre-programmed ideas about who we are and ultimately our future.  It starts with deciding what you are prepared to accept and what you want your life to look like.

I have realized that I can only be more once I’ve made a decision to be more.  You don’t make a decision that you are worthy of a particular type of life and it magically appears.  What happens, though, is you start to firmly hold on to that image.  You discover a grit and determination that you didn’t know you have.  So, through all the self doubt, you keep going.  You keep reading the books, doing the courses, saying the prayers that your soul needs for you to get to that place you need to be.  When you make that commitment to yourself anything becomes possible.  Do you believe you can change your life?  If not, what is the reason?  Think about what you consider to be out of your control.  Is it a person standing in your way or is it a mindset?  When other people are involved things becoming more challenging, but sometimes it is just a mindset that we can work on changing.  Start with that and see where it takes you!

Thanks for reading!  I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments 😊

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