Deciding to Show up for Yourself
Deciding to Show up for Yourself
There is a lot of focus on showing up for everyone else in our lives. But what does it look like to show up for yourself? Does this mean neglecting your duties or responsibilities to the people in your life or can we find a healthy balance so that we don’t get left behind? I’d like to think that we absolutely can show up for ourselves without dropping the ball on other areas of our lives. In fact, I’m going to insist that we show up better for others when we show up for ourselves first!
We can only live our own life experience, but so much of that experience is outwardly focused. We sometimes become completely detached from our own needs, in favour of being there for everyone else in our lives. Why is it so hard for us to see that we need to prioritize ourselves?
Priorities is a Loaded Word
As soon as we use the word priorities it assumes that one thing matters more than the other. Why should that have to be the case? Surely we can balance our efforts and energy and spread them out so that ALL areas of our lives get equal amounts of love? Or at least a damn site closer to equal.
So, I’d like to suggest that you ‘prioritize’ balance in all areas. Recognize that all areas of your life matter, even the ones you haven’t been giving too much attention to. This means that for you to be a balanced person you need to show up for yourself even when you don’t want to. Make your overall wellbeing a priority. Showing up for yourself means making yourself a priority and seeing the need for more effort in certain areas of your life where you may have been slacking off.
The Wheel of Life
You may have heard of the wheel of life before. The wheel of life is a circle representing the various areas of your life eg. Spiritual, work, physical etc. The wheel is used to assess how balanced each area of your life is. It is a quick, at a glance, assessment that tells you, ‘hey, my exercise routine is lacking’ or ‘oops, my spiritual side needs some love’. If you’re a visual person like me this is a very handy tool because there’s no skirting around the issue, it’s plain to see!
There are so many places to find this online, just search for The Wheel of Life. I recommend trying this exercise as a starting point for where you need to put in more effort. You may feel you know where you need to put in some extra effort, but you may also be surprised! So, try it out. If showing up for yourself is what you’re after you need to know where to start.
Make a Commitment
Once you’ve established which areas of your life have been sitting patiently on the backburner waiting for their turn, you can take action. For some people it will be starting a meditation practise, for others it will be an exercise routine. What is crucial here is that you understand that the one isn’t more important than the other. Your life is multi-faceted and each area needs nurturing. You wouldn’t go to the gym and exercise your left leg but not your right, would you? Laugh if you must but that’s what it’s like when you push yourself to succeed in a work environment but spiritually you are barren. Feed each part of you.
Take the time to think about the following areas: Spiritual, Social, Family, Work, Financial, Community, Health, Love. Do you immediately have a standout that makes you flinch? An ‘oops, hadn’t thought of that’? Don’t be too hard on yourself, just recognize the need to improve. Save more for your retirement, connect with friends more or join a dance class (exercise and social benefits, a two in one bonus!). I don’t believe in going from being a no gym person to a 5 days a week person. My motto is balance and that applies to making improvements too. So, no kick ass diets either! Commit, but take it slow It’s more likely to stick that way.
If you are a parent this lesson is even more valuable because pretty much everything we do is contagious to them! It’s catching! And we want all the good things to rub off, not the bad. So, set a good example for them. Show them that not only is it ok to show up for yourself, it’s the most loving and solid foundation that they could ever build for their lives.
This doesn’t only apply to our kids, either. We need to show our parents, work colleagues and community that we respect ourselves. We’re talking ripples here, people! When the people in your life see you nourishing your: body, soul, mind etc. that is contagious too! And, those are the ripples of change that we want to send out into the world.
Show up for Love
This is my caveat. There is no one area of your life that is going to thrive, and I mean thrive, without self-love being present in everything that you do. This is the starting point, the crux, the pinnacle of it all! Self-love allows you to step into the fullness of who you are. It allows you to show up for yourself in a way that nothing else ever will. It allows you to stand up and step into your worth, while also standing up for your values and what matters to you.
Take the time to fall in love with yourself! Find what makes your heart sing and chase after that. Find what makes you proud of the person you are and feed that fire within you. And, find the time to just be as beautifully whole as you are just as you sit there doing absolutely nothing in this moment! Show up for yourself because there is nothing more important in your one life than to honour the person you were born to be.
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