The Value of Connections

In the world as we know it, do we even recognize the value of connections?

The internet is overflowing with useful and useless information.  We are faced with split second choices on what offers us value.  Constantly.  I mean constantly!  I cannot tell you how many times I have started reading a blog or watching a video only to click away with a heavy sigh realizing I have wasted precious moments of my life.  Now this might sound mean and that is not my intention.  We all have different motivations and what works for some might not work for others.  That is one of the beautiful things about life, there is a place for everybody.

But, we can also get stuck searching for ‘our tribe’ and get lost along the way.  My very long-winded point here is I don’t want you to feel like my ramblings are a waste of your time.  I want you to feel like you have landed on the page of someone as real as you are, who understands that your time is precious.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m gonna ramble!  That’s what I’m here for!  But I hope my ramblings will include words that make you feel at ease, understood and hopefully inspired to live your best life.

So often we look at what separates us instead of what connects us. 

I want us to see those similarities and remember we are part of one big family.  The world would be a different place if we all learned to see each other more as ‘the same’ rather than as ‘different’.  We all love, we all hurt, we all dream and we all hope.  If we could recognize this in each other what a difference it could make!  Imagine if we didn’t hide our emotions.  We would immediately know if it was time to back off or time for a cuddle.  But, we have been suppressing our emotions for so long we don’t even know how to read each other anymore.

Having emotions at all is almost unacceptable.  In the work place we act like robots, our shields well in-tact.  By the time we get home to our families we are so tired of the façade we literally break down and our emotions are released like a flood.  But, the truth of the matter is, if we showed them more we would more easily accept them.  And, accepting our emotions is the starting point for being able to express them.

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photo credit: Liana Mikah on Unsplash

What do we love about babies? 

Their sheer, unadulterated, joy at being alive!  Just the word makes me laugh!  The definition of unadulterated is ‘pure’.  That is exactly what babies are, absolutely pure!  And we soak it up!  Why, because we long for the freedom to just be ourselves and to show our emotions.  Babies are totally free from any ‘emotional influence’.  They don’t hold back for anyone or anything.  Self-expression is their natural state.  We adults are green with envy at their liberated way of living.  I mean, they have no emotional chains binding them and they have every need taken care of, of course we’re jealous!  Lol.

And what about anger? 

Once we have lost that innocence that allowed us to be authentically ourselves we start to build up those walls.  We go through life wearing a mask.  This mask weighs heavy on our hearts.  What happens is we start to feel bitter, angry, resentful and any number of other emotions.  We build a wall so that people can’t get too close.  We hide our true identity in fear of being rejected.  My question is, if you weren’t going through life wearing a mask would you have the need for that destructive emotion?  I really believe it would not have a hold on us the way it does.

Search for that connection

This goes beyond the ‘put down the device’ logic.  This is all about real connection.  This is about looking into the eyes of the person you love and seeing more than just someone sharing your space.  When I said about wasting time reading something that has little value to me, this is what it comes down to.  Life is exceedingly short.  When you have those special people in our life that you are lucky enough to call your own, there should be no reason good enough that can keep you from connecting with them.  And it’s really the smallest, simplest things that create true connections.

I have recently read The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware (a beautiful read that I highly recommend).  Her book is a reminder that every day is a choice.  A reminder to make sure you choose meaningful connections every day.  Filled with charming stories and lessons for living a life filled with love, and connections.  Make sure you don’t leave this life with regrets.  This heartwarming book can be bought from The Book Depository  

We all need to feel connected. 

Try to see that need in others.  Stop for a moment and study the lines on someone’s face.  See their eyes light up when they are greeted by a loved one.  See them as a Mother, a Son, a Grandfather or a Cousin.  Try to picture what their life is like.  Do you think they are happy or do they look lonely?  Try to imagine them with their family members, giving a grandchild a hug or meeting a friend for coffee.  If you have the opportunity, give them a smile.  Smiling at someone is like offering up your heart.  If you don’t get a smile back, try the next person.  It won’t take long before you get a smile and when you do you will feel that connection and it will be worth it.  You will remember something you already know – we’re all the same.

The ‘bottom line’ or conclusion to this therefore is that we are in this together.

We can choose to reach out to each other, to nurture and to grow through our experiences.  Or, we can re-enforce our already solid walls and go through life feeling alone.  I wish this wasn’t even an option, but many of us are too afraid of knocking down the walls so we live with the pain of disconnect.  Don’t go through life with regret.  Show your softer side, your vulnerability, your better side.  Build a wall around the anger and the fear instead.  Open up your heart and feel the weight lift off your shoulders.

‘Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard and valued – when they can give and receive without judgement.’ – Brené Brown

If you enjoyed this blog, head over and check out Manage Your Emotions in 5 Easy Ways

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