Repeat After Me: I Am Enough

This blog is the result of me deciding to walk away. Not forever.  Just for a little while. Just for long enough to be able to remind myself to reconnect with who I am. Because I am enough. Because, for a while there I forgot that I am enough.  I forgot that I do not need to do, or be, anything to be enough. Let me explain. I am dedicated to this blog. I’m dedicated to the purpose behind it.  And I am dedicated to being part of the solution in this world. I’m dedicated to you, and to serving you in any small way that God has given me the ability to do so.  And, to me, that is through my words.

But!  I’ve had to take a moment to reassess. Not the blog.  That is forever part of me.  Part of who I am.  Part of my heart and soul. What I’ve had to reassess is whether or not I’m subconsciously using my blog as a measurement for my worth. Now, I hope this doesn’t have you reeling and that instead you will hear me out.  Can you relate to this idea?  The idea that even when we put everything we have into something positive there can still be part of us that feels it just isn’t enough.  That we just aren’t enough.  What I know is that I don’t want that for myself, and I don’t want that for you.  So, let’s unpack this.

Growing Towards Enoughness?

It’s all good and well to write a personal growth blog in the hope that my words will reach my audience and uplift them and guide them in some way, but at what point do I need to ask myself to look inward?  I write my blogs from an honest perspective, and that matters very much to me because I believe that we cannot learn and grow if we are not honest with ourselves.  It is an essential starting point for our growth in all areas.  So here I am being honest with you about the process of personal growth as I have found it.

The wonderful thing about growth is that the more that you grow the more that you realise there is no finishing line. Growth carries on until the day that we die. And that’s okay. In fact, for me it is more than okay. Once you accept it, you embrace it as part of the beauty of being alive and being human. But along my journey I have realised and learnt a lot about myself.  About the way that I view the world.  The things that uplift me and the things that bring me down. I’ve learnt of my strong side and also of my, not weak, but rather my tender side.  My sensitive side.

How does this Relate to I Am Enough?

I woke up about a week ago and realised that the love and commitment that I have put into this blog had an undertone of ‘not enoughness’. What do I mean by that?  What I realized was that while my writing comes from a place of love and light as it applies to you, my reader, my own experience of it was becoming overwhelming and my purpose driven focus was affecting me negatively.  So, even the most well-intentioned enterprise can become too much if not kept in check!  And, those real-life people behind the scenes are always walking their own path of self-discovery (always, until they die!  If they claim otherwise, they need to reassess too!).

Somewhere under all the efforts, the love and the light, there was a need to prove myself.  To myself!  There was a sense of ‘you haven’t done enough yet to be enough‘.  If this comes as a shock to you, seeing as I write a personal growth blog, let me help you make sense of this strange dilemma.  Lol.  My journey, and I hope yours too if you’ve been walking beside me for a while now, is a journey of self-discovery.  But, the greatest of all is the journey of self-love.  It is beyond powerful!  It is the journey that leads you to stand tall and declare to the universe:  ‘I Am Enough’.  And, while I have found a deep love and acceptance for myself on my path, there is room for improvement.

A Worthiness Reminder

One of the reasons why this is a personal growth blog instead of personal development, is because the way I see it there is not one person on this earth who can claim that they have mastered life! Growth is our true nature and there really is something new to be learned every day, and every hour that we are open to new experiences in this life.  I accept that I am a work in progress.  I love that I am a work in progress!  Maybe that realization on its own goes a long way in helping us accept our own self-worth.  If we understand that there is no finish line to reach, can that help us to see that being enough isn’t about achieving a goal?

When moments like this come along, I realise that I have been hurting a part of myself even while I was consciously putting up uplifting content and trying to guide and motivate others.  This was a clear indication that it was time to take a step back.  I knew it was time to pull myself back in line.  Remember your journey, Stephanie.  Remember that your heart makes you worthy, not your hours or your views. Let me point out that your name should be inserted in place of mine!  We all need a reminder, even the personal growth junkies of the world.

Reassess and come back Stronger

So, it was time to reassess so that I could come back stronger.  With more self-love.  And knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am enough.  That my blog does not make me enough, but rather that, with or without it I am enough. And, this applies to you too!  Wherever you are, whatever your situation.

Have you been putting too much weight on what you DO to give you your worth, instead of simply who you are?  Remembering, here, that you are a soul in a body.  Born worthy!  By simple existence and life breathed into your unique and wonderful body!  Take a moment to acknowledge all the wonderful things about yourself.  And, if you struggle with this, just sit and be still for long enough to be able to hear your heart beat.  To know you were blessed with life and that makes you worthy.  To listen to the voice within that only has loving words to say.  Not the interfering one in your head, the one that shows up when you allow it space.

Tap into the Feeling

While our ‘enoughness’ is never in question, there is something to be said for that feeling of validation.  It allows us to tap into our worthiness.  It feels good!  What we don’t want, is to look for it in superficial places.  These are both fleeting and false.  So, do the things that bring you joy. If it is not bringing you joy it is not allowing you to feel the truth within you. That ‘I am enough’ that resounds deep within you. You feel worthy of the blessings in life when you look within more than you look without.  Life should bring you joy, but more importantly, you should be able to create your own joy.

For me that means allowing myself to just be. And that can be walking away for a bit. For just long enough to remind myself of why I am here and to work from a place of love and flow and not a place of deadlines and expectations (my own might I add).  Allow yourself to be loved by God without needing some vanity metric to reassure you of your worth. I am enough because I am of God, created by him.

I have a Question

What is enough? What would it take for you to feel like you’re enough? Why do you feel that you aren’t enough in this moment? Exactly as you are? My argument is that we don’t need to be or do anything to be enough.  That it doesn’t come down to what job you do, how many hours you put in or how much money you make to decide whether or not you’re enough.

Now, I understand that this is easy to put down on paper, but way more difficult in reality. We are programmed to perform. To achieve. To reach for goals. And to impress. If we are not achieving any of these, we are quite simply not enough. When you look at it in black-and-white, it seems quite ridiculous doesn’t it?  But, in our everyday lives we are constantly faced with the weight of expectation to be more than we feel we are capable of being.

You could ask me ‘how am I supposed to feel like I’m enough if I haven’t achieved what I wanted to in life?’, and I understand the weight that places on your shoulders. The question is, ‘is this placed there by others or by yourself?’. Another way to look at it is, ‘is it placed there by society, or by your creator and if God stood before you and said you are enough, would that be enough? Are you setting yourself up for failure at every turn? If you were told you are enough, would you believe it or would you sabotage your own happiness?  Hmm.  Something to think about, yes?

Purpose shouldn’t Equal Pressure

How do we find a balance between that feeling of being driven or called to a purpose in life and the feeling of enoughness? What I’ve realized this past week is that while we might be results driven by nature, we CANNOT link those results to our worth.  This will drive you crazy!  And, it is quite simply a load of crap.  The reason I found it so tough was because my blog isn’t just showing up to pay the bills.  My blog is very much a soul project for me.  So, it was quite a wake up call when I realized I was letting the details get in the way of the purpose.  I was taking on too much, expecting too much.

Now, after a week of reflection, I have returned to a place of love (for myself) and a place where I am more in tune with this purpose.  Why am I more in tune?  Because I’m allowing the real me to step forward and take centre stage.  Instead of the goal driven and frazzled, although well-intentioned, me.  I have released the pressure to be something other than just me.

I’ve Decided I Am Enough!

What I’ve realised is ‘enoughness’ is a decision. It’s a stepping into your self-worth.  It’s allowing yourself to truly love yourself for who you are. Being able to say I am enough means that you stop placing limitations OR expectations on yourself.  You stop restricting yourself from your truth, and you stop looking for flaws.  Instead, you see wholeness and blessings in everything that you are.

Take a moment and ask yourself what does it serve you to keep telling yourself you’re not enough?  And, what could it do for you if you made a decision in this moment that whatever has happened to make you question your self-worth, it is only a thought that can be shifted by love.  Decide today that you are worthy of all the love and joy that the world has to offer.

Stop Saying I Am Enough

Wait, what!?  My final note on this is to make your end goal to stop saying I am enough.  What are you on about?  Well, wouldn’t you agree that when you no longer feel the need to hammer on about being enough that you have finally stepped fully into your self-worth?  I would.

So, repeat after me:  I am enough, I am enough, I am enough.  Until the day comes that it has sunk beneath your skin, into your heart and soul, and you NEVER have to repeat it again!

Much love,

Steph x

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