Know Your Self Worth

Remember when you were a kid and there was that one kid that you gravitated towards?  They were the funny one, the one that didn’t seem to give a damn what anyone thought of them.  They showed the world that they weren’t giving up on their own identity for anything.  Sadly, in way too many cases this is more for show, with an insecurity hidden beneath it all.  But, that kid was holding on to their sense of identity for all that they were worth, as they should!  And, us bystanders to their freedom, wished to have that confidence in who we were too.

What, or Who decides your worth?  Was there a moment that you decided you were or weren’t worthy of living the life you imagined for yourself?  Nobody teaches you how to love yourself more.  This is a weighted subject so I will try to go easy.  What I know is this.  There are 2 absolute truths here.  1 is that we ALL feel unworthy at some point in our lives.  The other one is that we all are worthy.  This is not debatable.  There is no argument.  You, as a miracle of life and a child of God are worthy.  It is life’s greatest sadness that we struggle so much to see this.  We should know this intrinsically through anything that life throws at us, but instead we make ourselves small.

I Made Myself Small

There isn’t a particular day when you decide to play it small.  In fact, if you’re like me, you might wake up and realize that your self-doubt has held you back and you just thought you were getting on with life.  In actual fact you were hiding yourself, hiding your truth, your light.  When your eyes open you begin to see how wrong this is.  You were given a personality, talents and passion for a reason.  Why would God give you all of these just for you to keep them hidden like something to be ashamed of?  Ridiculous!

I realized that I was wasting away.  It showed in flare ups and temper tantrums.  I should have known something was wrong because my true nature is calm and quiet.  It was the only way my subconscious could communicate to me that life was not as it should be, that I needed to understand that there is a process behind how to love yourself more.  I was blessed with a wonderful life, health and family so I couldn’t understand what my problem was.  Now, with hindsight (of course!) I see the patterns and understand what was happening.  What I needed to do was stop keeping myself small and instead lean into my authentic self.  I needed to allow space for myself, to include my own happiness in the bigger picture of the family’s happiness.

What Does Your Authentic Self Mean?

There is a truth inside all of us.  When you still your mind for long enough to let it through, to separate what you are made to believe is true to what your soul’s truth is, you will see this.  Really you shouldn’t have to take up special methods like meditation to tune in to who you are at your core.  But, we have become so disconnected that we no longer know how to just be who we are.  We are programmed by society, by the image of ourselves that has been created by the world around us.  If you want to know how to love yourself more, you start here.  You paint over that canvas.  Start fresh, reimagine yourself!

If you already practice meditation you will know that being in that space of stillness has a magic to it.  It is where you listen.  All your values and the absolute truth of who you are meant to be can be found here, in the stillness.  You will begin to understand how wrong it is to push against this truth in favour of surface level expectations.  Being true to yourself should always be top of the list!

How to Decide Your Worth

This takes courage.  In a world where everything we do is being commented on, talked about and judged, deciding to stand true to who you are is tough!  But, I want to ask you, what is the value in a life lived according to the value ‘others’ place on you?  They don’t really even know you!  Even those closest to you, with all the good intentions in the world, don’t know you fully.  Why?  Because you don’t let them!

The world will only ever know us fully when we begin to live fully as our authentic selves.  Until then, we are walking around masquerading as someone else and then not wanting to be judged for it.  We are being dishonest with ourselves.  And all in the name of being liked.  But, we start to dislike (and even distrust) ourselves.  Realize that deciding your worth comes from recognizing life is not about anyone but yourself.  There will always be people who don’t like you, but when you are true to yourself there will also be people who love you more than you could ever have imagined.  And that is worth giving up all the excess fat that you didn’t need anyway.  Can I hear you say Yeah!

A Leap of Faith

It’s all good and well to know what you love and what you stand for in life.  That doesn’t make living your authentic life easy.  I get it, trust me!  This blog was my ‘leap of faith’.  It is helping me break through barriers and overcome blocks that I would never have imagined myself capable of.  But, I am doing it.  Why?  Because something in my soul drives me toward it.  My truth, my authentic self, will not allow me to go on living this life without standing in my truth.  Uncovering the magic of how to love yourself more comes from uncovering the essence of you!  I love to write, I love people, I love to make a difference and I believe in the good of mankind.  When we live our true identity we are ALL HAPPIER!

Be honest now.  Is there a little voice that tells you living in your truth won’t work/isn’t allowed/would be frowned upon?  Now ask another question.  What kind of life are you living if you don’t live your truth?  Being authentic in yourself, your values and your passion is the only way to live a truly happy life.  When you cut yourself off from the core of who you are, you are cutting off your life blood.  I don’t suggest rushing out right now and making a drastic change.  I do suggest taking a long hard think about what matters to you and then taking small steps towards helping this part of you grow instead of shrink.

Look For People who Know their Self Worth

There are examples all around us of people living in their worth and people living outside of their worth.  We all know the obvious difference between the two.  Those living within their worth have a quality about them that is intoxicating.  They have something we want!  Have you ever had an encounter with someone and all you can think is ‘I want some of that’?  That is what it feels like to be 100% you!  I don’t know about you, but I want some of that!  I am unashamedly on a mission to be 100% me.  No more fitting into boxes, no more shying away from my truth.  This is what it looks like to know your worth.

Go out and look for those people that are not living within their worth.  They are plentiful and easy to spot.  They have no glow.  From the outside they may be living a pretty good, even a happy life, but they have no glow.  They are not lit up from the inside.  Their soul is not enriched by their true purpose.  Now go out and look for those people that do what you love for a living.  See their stories, soak up their glow.  Feel that feeling of thriving in what you want out of life.  Imagine the feeling of being praised for being authentic.  Know that it is possible for you to live an authentic life.

Know that Your Worth is Not Superficial

What I mean by this is your self worth is not dependent on ANY superficial benchmark.  That means everything from where you were born, what nationality you are, how short or tall you are or how many zero’s you have in your bank account.  All of these are superficial, even if this comes as a shock to you to hear me say it!  At the end of the day, or the end of your life, not one single one of these things matter.

Your self worth should come from what’s inside you.  Your heart, your soul.  How to love yourself more comes from you knowing who you are, not who you appear to be.  Your self worth is the cornerstone that you build your life around and you should wear it with pride.  Knowing your self worth means facing the world proud of the person you truly are, the person you are when no one else is there.  That is the true you and should not be hidden.  Embrace who you were born to be!  Why would you ever do anything else?

Sending love to your magnificent self!

Steph xx

If you enjoyed this post head over and check out Self Talk: A Thank You Letter To Myself

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