Self Care Archives - My Saltwater Skyline

Category: Self Care

October 19, 2020

Being Alone: Is It a Good Thing?

Does being alone equal being lonely?

There is a vast difference between being alone and being lonely. Loneliness is a feeling of separateness, a feeling of emptiness that can be overwhelming. Being alone doesn’t need to feel like this. In fact, being alone should be a time to reconnect with yourself and reassess your priorities. A time spent entirely on your own life questions, goals and aspirations.

I love spending time alone because I find life can become too ‘noisy’. There is so much going on around us every day, in society and in our own homes, that we sometimes need to take a break from it all. We forget that we are more than the 9-5. More than the School Lunch Prep and the Birthday Party planning. Spending time alone gives us an opportunity to remember our own wants and needs. It’s self-care at it’s finest.

What if you don’t like being alone?

For many people being alone brings on negative emotions. When this happens you need to ask yourself why that is. Why are you afraid to be alone with your own thoughts and emotions? To me this is an indicator that there is something that you need to work through. There is a reason why you don’t want to hear the thoughts in your own head.

Let me ask you this. Do you find your own self talk often turns towards the negative? Do you rip yourself to pieces because of the way you spoke to your in-laws or the fact that you just can’t seem to give up the junkfood? Or, are there things from your past that are troubling you, that flood into your consciousness when you are left alone? Does time alone leave you thinking about all the reasons your life isn’t what it should be? Do you come down hard for all your shortcomings?

October 15, 2020

Self-Care Ideas: What I’m Crushing On!

Let’s talk Self-Care Ideas I’m crushing on!

For me there are layers of self-care that make up a good day. On the top of the list of self-care ideas is sleep. It all starts with good sleep! So, a good bed and a good headspace is your foundation for your day. If you wake up feeling grumpy you’re off to a bad start. If you wake up feeling rested you’re doing well. So, make sure you’ve ticked all your sleepy time boxes the night before. Have a relaxing shower before bed, make sure you’re snug and comfy, wear your favourite pj’s and don’t drink caffeine too close to bedtime. For me these are the best tips for getting a good nights sleep, and staying sane, because without sleep we are basically useless!

Mindset first

Mindset can make or break a day. I like to ease into my day. It starts me off in the right mindset. Hitting snooze repeatedly and dragging yourself out of bed is a sure fire way to a bad day. Give yourself time to ease into it. Take the time to sit in bed with a cup of coffee and a good book. If you have kids, this is the best time to just be quiet. I love this time, when all I can hear is the birds singing outside. It is peaceful and my quality ‘me time’.

The next thing I do is set my intentions for the day. This follows on from choosing your mindset. Setting your intention is like making a decision to be happy. It’s a conscious choice when you wake up in the morning to say thank you for being alive and well. Wriggle your toes, stretch out your limbs and remember the blessing of a new day. Set an intention to have a productive day, a joyful day, a healthy day etc. When you step into your day making a conscious choice you are much more likely to achieve your goal.

Next, let’s look at the resources and products that I use to set up my self-care routine.

September 13, 2020

Manage Your Emotions in 5 Easy Ways

I’ve been thinking a lot about our emotions lately.

Our emotions are there in every waking moment. But, they are so much a part of you, do you ever stop to consider how you manage your emotions? Or, do you tend to shrug them off if they don’t suit you?

Our emotions, or our feelings, are our ‘guiding light’ through this life. They warn us when we might be about to get hurt and they excite us when something major is happening for the positive. Although they are super reliable, they are not always convenient. They force us to sit up and pay attention. In a world full of ups and downs this is often not welcome and we tend to close ourselves off from our emotions.

Do you hide from your emotions?

You might have seen a post I put up recently on Instagram asking this question. I think that too often we just ‘don’t want to go there’. We don’t want to discuss the suggestion to move to another city. We avoid making that appointment with the Doctor to check out a niggle. Or, we would rather walk away than have another argument with the kids over who gets to sit in the front seat! Emotions can be overwhelming and exhausting and sometimes we’d rather just walk away.

Is walking away the best way to manage the situation?

In some situations it might be the best thing to do, to walk away. It could be the difference between letting something blow over and having things go so far that there’s no coming back. Sometimes walking away is the right thing to do. But, what you need to avoid is letting your emotions stew inside you. That is unhealthy. That turns to bitterness, resentment and anger and can start to work like a poison on your heart and soul. There is a fine line that we need to learn to recognize. We need to learn to assess our emotional state and reel ourselves in when necessary. Let’s look at some ways to manage our emotions.

August 25, 2020

What does Personal Growth mean anyway?

Personal growth seems to be one of the popular catch phrases people are throwing around lately.

So, what does personal growth mean anyway? I’ve personally learnt a lot about myself over the last year. For me it has been a metamorphosis, a slow process of change. Personal growth (it’s right there in the title) is personal. It is different for everyone. For me it is like going full circle. It is realizing that I had wandered away from my true self and finding a way to wander back to it. Finding a way to not only get back to myself but to work on getting better.

My personal growth has covered a range of areas in my life from realizing ‘I’m Worth It’ to caring more for my body to spending time on my spiritual growth. I didn’t make a conscious choice to grow in these areas, it kind of crept up on me, and before I realized it I was learning to see the world in a different way.

My personal growth does not come from a place of lack or need to escape who I ‘was’.

I have been blessed with a wonderful life. A good family, good health, beautiful children and a loving husband. Does this mean I should be grateful for where I am? Yes. Does it make it wrong to want to grow? No. Growth is always the right thing to do. Growth keeps you alive inside and therefore happy inside as well.

If you’ve read my post on Gratitude you will know how important I think it is in a happy lifestyle, but I do think that there is something we need to be aware of. That is, we can be so conscious of our blessings, and be so grateful for them, that we feel a sense of guilt about wanting more. For example, you are so grateful for the blessing of being a mother that you convince yourself it is selfish and ‘ungrateful’ to want to do something for yourself. This is a flawed premise indeed! Ultimately life is about balance and when we do not look after one aspect of our lives the others suffer. We cannot be well rounded and happy if we don’t look after EVERY aspect of our being. In other words, being a mother should not stop you being an artist, writer, acrobat or tv presenter! (insert anything that pulls at your soul).

July 26, 2020

Top 10 Meditation Tips for Beginners

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For just over a year now I have been practising a daily meditation.

This is something that I considered many, and I mean MANY, years ago but always had a crazy busy mind that just refused to be still. I wish that someone had handed me a list of top 10 meditation tips for beginners back then! But then something clicked in me. I started down this path of self-discovery and self-development which led me very organically to meditation. After practising meditation for over a year I do not consider myself an expert on the subject however I do believe wholeheartedly in the benefits. It has become so important to me that I feel cheated if I go a day without it. The sense of calm and clarity that I get from meditation cannot be achieved through any other methods that I have tried.

Being a Mum, my methods would include holding my breath and counting to 10!

If you’ve never tried meditation before I can 100% guarantee you are in the “that’s kinda woo hoo” corner, and I totally understand! I’ve been there.

But, it’s only because we have been convinced by this crazy world we live in that it’s all go, go, go and stopping is for losers. Sound about right? Well, when you get to that point where you realize that stopping is essential, and you’ve had your brakes off for so long you just don’t know how anymore, it’s time to try it out.

Mastering it is not easy, but trying it is. Start, just start. Just sit, close your eyes for 10 minutes and listen to the sound of the birds outside your window or the waves crashing. Even the sound of the fridge running or the pump in the fish tank can do the trick. Breathe. That’s all. For now. Just enjoy the complete surrender of giving yourself a break. Eventually you will start to feel like you are connecting with yourself on a whole new level that you never have before, but for now all you need to do is take that precious moment and breathe.

July 16, 2020

12 Self-Care Tips on a Budget

Tips on how can we achieve an impactful level of self-care on a budget

I don’t know about you but when I hear self-care I think of a) time I do not have and b) overpriced ‘spa days’. 12 self-care tips on a budget does not come to mind.

So, I’m here today to give you a few tips on how you can give back to yourself without having to organize a babysitter or take out a loan.

Let’s start with what self-care really means. In this busy life we all live, it quite simply comes down to taking time for yourself. Time away from EVERYTHING. It means having a moment where you acknowledge your own feelings and give yourself permission to breathe. Really, it’s about shaking off the rest of the world for a moment and allowing yourself to just be you.

So, how do we make self-care more achievable?

We have to take a closer look at ourselves for this one! Why do we tell ourselves there isn’t enough time and that self-care can wait? We look at the lists we have prepared of ‘things to do’ and cannot see a way to fit in time for ourselves. The reality is, it’s up to us. Taking time for yourself can be anywhere from 5 minutes to 5 hours. Yes, if you have been denying yourself for too long you will probably need more time, but you can start small. When you see that the act of completely switching off from your stressors relaxes your shoulders and lightens your load, you will want to add 5 more minutes!

How about we start by being completely honest with ourselves? Take a moment to think about how much time you spend scrolling on your phone. We fall into a trap and before you know it you’ve lost 2hrs of your life (or more). There are different reasons we go on the internet but mainly we are either looking for information or inspiration. The problem is once we are in the mindset of finding inspiration we kinda don’t want to give up until we find it. So, we scroll and we scroll. In the end we toss the phone into a corner feeling frustrated. We don’t feel inspired and we have lost precious time that could have been focused on our self-care. Am I right? So, instead of getting lost in the scroll, let’s have a look at our self-care tips on a budget to get us started.

What small steps can I take today?

Quick and easy:

Make a hot cup of tea or coffee and sit quietly by yourself with your thoughts. No distractions. Walk out into the garden if you need to but make sure you have those few quiet moments alone. This is self-care tip no.1 because it’s an easy, no-excuses start to taking time for yourself.
Paint your nails. Again, the self-care comes in the time spent alone. Painting your nails can be a great exercise in mindfulness and gets your head out of the craziness of daily life.
Learn how to breathe deep, clear breathes. When we are stressed we tend to breathe shallow, anxious breaths. Try to focus on taking deep breaths, this is a quick and very effective way to calm yourself almost immediately and self-care is not possible without being calm.
Eat well. We all enjoy our treats but try to get into the habit of eating food that energizes your body – read my blog on Smoothies for inspiration on self-care for your body in a healthy and super speedy way.

July 1, 2020

Journaling: A Path to Self-Discovery

I believe in the incredible power of journaling to change our mindset, our point of view and our sense of self.

That’s a big statement, I know, but I really believe it. I’d like to talk about how journaling can be a path to self-discovery. Many years ago I was gifted a book called The Artists way by Julia Cameron and this book really got me started in a big way in journaling. It is an inspiring read, dedicated to the artist that is within all of us and it is designed to get those creative juices flowing. The book isn’t only about the benefits of journaling. She also talks about other ways to connect to ourselves, like what she calls ‘Artist Dates’. That is were you take time out with yourself to explore something that inspires you, like an art gallery or an indie movie for example. But, for me, the journaling stuck.

Journaling is not a new thing, it usually begins as a childhood ‘Dear Diary’ but it can evolve into an extension of ourselves, a bosom buddy of sorts. It can be there for us when nobody else can. It can store secrets and feelings too. For me, though, the essence of the journal is the coming home to yourself. And, it is this that gives journaling its power as a path to self-discovery. You can break down all walls and take down all masks with a journal. You can discover things about yourself and help yourself grow, heal or mourn. A journal is a best friend and a keeper of secrets.

What do you write about? Or, how do you get started?

There are no rules in journaling, but to keep writing. You will discover that there is magic in journaling. That the words are drawn from somewhere inside you and out onto the page. You will discover that this life that we lead, this rushed and manic life, has created a monster that needs to be heard. The funny thing is when the words hit the page more magic happens. Somehow you feel lighter, instantly. Finally you can cancel your appointment with the psychiatrist because you have spoken your truth!

I know I sound a little overexcited. That’s because I believe that writing down your feelings in a journal will help you work through anything that life throws at you. I find that people often talk very casually about journaling like it’s a new hobby to consider or a fad that’s going around, but I think if we commit to it the benefits can be enormous.

Journaling has been my go-to for any emotional turmoil I need to deal with. For example, I can spill my guts onto the page and, somehow, the purging process is like an emotional detox. Almost every time I start my journaling in ‘rant’ mode and somehow, in the end, I have found my way back to a positive outlook on life. All is well with the world. Like I said, magic! You may be thinking ‘I’m not a writer’ but this is for your eyes only and you cannot get it wrong. My challenge to you is to just give it a try for 1 week, then see how you feel. See if the writing stirs up any emotions such as fear or doubts. These things are not easy to face, however, like all fears they can only be conquered when faced.

My recommendation would be that you pick out a notebook and a pen. Also, make sure it is ready and waiting beside your bed the next time you wake up. Before bed works too, but getting your head in the right place first thing in the morning is a definite win! If you’re looking for a really fun way to express yourself I highly recommend the Wreck This Journal. Such a fun way to get your emotions out on the page! Ok, now, give yourself just 10min. If you get carried away, great! See what happens. If you don’t know what to write, write about what happened the day before, even if its bad. You will find that the process will help you work through it. Remember, cheapest therapist in town!

June 21, 2020

Simplify your Healthy Living with Smoothies

Do you love sweet things but really want to live a healthy lifestyle?

If you’re someone who dreams of donuts and slabs of fudge, your go-to healthy choice has to be the good old smoothie! I have always had a serious sweet tooth. I love fudge and cake and anything in between so finding a healthy alternative that I can enjoy is a major win for me. Luckily for me I discovered smoothies! I swear I could hear the angels singing from up high! A natural and easy choice to keep me on track, while still enjoying that glorious guilty pleasure that is sweetness, smoothies are a no-brainer. So, it’s time to simplify your healthy living with smoothies!

Many of us are keen on living a healthier lifestyle but the daily grind just doesn’t allow it for us. We rush off to school drop off and onwards to the rest of our day without taking a moment to nourish our bodies. I am here to tell you that it only takes a few minutes out of your day to start a new, healthy habit. Smoothies have to be the best way to start your day off on the right foot. And, when you start your day off well it will put you one step ahead of the game. Healthy body, healthy mind, healthy outlook. So, let’s look at why I think smoothies are the way forward for busy Mum’s (and women in general) and how we can simplify your healthy living with smoothies.

The beauty of the smoothie is in the endless options.

Like bananas? Chuck them in! Like kiwi fruit? Super high in vitamin C, chuck it in! Then there’s the extras, the chia seeds or spirulina powders. And….. news flash! Spinach goodness does not need to ruin the taste! How can you not love smoothies?! If you are looking for a great start to the day, and an energy boost that doesn’t make you feel like you swallowed a lead balloon, then join me on the smoothie journey.

I like to keep a variety of choices available. That way every morning I can pick and choose depending on my flavour mood of the day. I usually have a big bowl of fresh fruit on my kitchen counter but I also have a variety of frozen fruit ready to grab and mix up with the fresh goodness. So, wishing you were on a Caribbean Island? Go for the pineapple, almond milk and bananas! Or just missing summer? Go for a lip-smacking blend of berries with a strawberry yoghurt and maybe some cranberry juice. I love using a home made ice tea, my favourite flavour being blood orange. Yum!