Articles Tagged with: self-care

Self Talk: A Thank You Letter To Myself

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Self Talk: A Thank You Letter To Myself

We all go through our internal struggles with ourselves. Our self-doubt, questioning everything that we do, whether we are good enough, pretty enough, brave enough. We are in a constant state of ‘talking ourselves down from a ledge’. Trying, from a place of concern for our own best interest, to keep ourselves ‘safe’. But, I think it’s time we cut the crap and start realizing that we are doing more to limit ourselves than we are to protect ourselves. It’s time to listen to our own self talk and realize its impact on us.

What would happen if we stopped holding ourselves back?

What do we honestly believe, at our core, will happen if we put ourselves out there into the world? Is there anything so terrible that we can justify keeping ourselves small, tight in our safe little cocoon, because we are afraid. If you have been reading my blogs and following along with me on my journey you will know that this is a process that I am working through daily. Trying to understand what has steered me through my life up until now (I am slowly realizing it was mainly fear). What can I learn from this and where do I go from here? What I have realized is that instead of chastising myself for every small doubt or complaint, it is time to look back at how far I have come and offer some kind and encouraging words to myself instead.

We are so hard on ourselves, no wonder we struggle to make a change. It is almost impossible to picture yourself succeeding at something if you cannot practice positive self-talk. If you were working for a boss and they spoke to you the way that you speak to yourself in your head, you would be mortified! But, somehow, we tolerate that nasty voice that keeps putting us down. There are two sides to this. Firstly, that voice is actually NOT you! It is years and years of listening to society’s views on how things should be. The good news about that is it is within your power to STOP listening RIGHT NOW! Don’t believe a word they say! You are capable!

October 19, 2020

Being Alone: Is It a Good Thing?

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Being Alone: Is It a Good Thing?

Does being alone equal being lonely?

There is a vast difference between being alone and being lonely. Loneliness is a feeling of separateness, a feeling of emptiness that can be overwhelming. Being alone doesn’t need to feel like this. In fact, being alone should be a time to reconnect with yourself and reassess your priorities. A time spent entirely on your own life questions, goals and aspirations.

I love spending time alone because I find life can become too ‘noisy’. There is so much going on around us every day, in society and in our own homes, that we sometimes need to take a break from it all. We forget that we are more than the 9-5. More than the School Lunch Prep and the Birthday Party planning. Spending time alone gives us an opportunity to remember our own wants and needs. It’s self-care at it’s finest.

What if you don’t like being alone?

For many people being alone brings on negative emotions. When this happens you need to ask yourself why that is. Why are you afraid to be alone with your own thoughts and emotions? To me this is an indicator that there is something that you need to work through. There is a reason why you don’t want to hear the thoughts in your own head.

Let me ask you this. Do you find your own self talk often turns towards the negative? Do you rip yourself to pieces because of the way you spoke to your in-laws or the fact that you just can’t seem to give up the junkfood? Or, are there things from your past that are troubling you, that flood into your consciousness when you are left alone? Does time alone leave you thinking about all the reasons your life isn’t what it should be? Do you come down hard for all your shortcomings?

October 15, 2020

Self-Care Ideas: What I’m Crushing On!

Let’s talk Self-Care Ideas I’m crushing on!

For me there are layers of self-care that make up a good day. On the top of the list of self-care ideas is sleep. It all starts with good sleep! So, a good bed and a good headspace is your foundation for your day. If you wake up feeling grumpy you’re off to a bad start. If you wake up feeling rested you’re doing well. So, make sure you’ve ticked all your sleepy time boxes the night before. Have a relaxing shower before bed, make sure you’re snug and comfy, wear your favourite pj’s and don’t drink caffeine too close to bedtime. For me these are the best tips for getting a good nights sleep, and staying sane, because without sleep we are basically useless!

Mindset first

Mindset can make or break a day. I like to ease into my day. It starts me off in the right mindset. Hitting snooze repeatedly and dragging yourself out of bed is a sure fire way to a bad day. Give yourself time to ease into it. Take the time to sit in bed with a cup of coffee and a good book. If you have kids, this is the best time to just be quiet. I love this time, when all I can hear is the birds singing outside. It is peaceful and my quality ‘me time’.

The next thing I do is set my intentions for the day. This follows on from choosing your mindset. Setting your intention is like making a decision to be happy. It’s a conscious choice when you wake up in the morning to say thank you for being alive and well. Wriggle your toes, stretch out your limbs and remember the blessing of a new day. Set an intention to have a productive day, a joyful day, a healthy day etc. When you step into your day making a conscious choice you are much more likely to achieve your goal.

Next, let’s look at the resources and products that I use to set up my self-care routine.

October 9, 2020

Finding Your Why

Life Altering Change starts with Finding your Why

Let me start with the process of soul searching that I found myself going on as I started the process of finding my why. You would think your why would be obvious, and in some ways it is, but it requires a deeper level of questioning. A ‘big picture’ kind of thinking. On the surface my why is easy, it is my family! Family time, as much as I can get of it! When you think about the shortness of this life experience and the way we spend our time, the percentage of it that is spent with the one’s we love is a sad statistic indeed! So, yes, a big chunk of my why is family. After all, they are the ones we do it all for! They are the ones that matter at the end of the day. They absolutely should be our why!

But, my why also goes deeper than this. It goes to the core of who I am and what matters to me as a spiritual being. One of the main reasons that I started this blog, was because I believe that many of us feel misunderstood and alone. We have a message in our hearts that we want heard. Or, we don’t quite know what our message is but we know it’s there waiting to be uncovered. We feel like we are walking this path alone.

We are here to guide each other through this life

I wanted to share my personal experiences and lessons on personal growth, to be there to let you know you are not alone. To walk you through the questions and struggles and help you realize that every step forward, no matter how small, is growth!

I believe that when we have a nagging inside us, a voice that needs to be heard, that we need to sit up and pay attention, that it’s time for a change. It’s time to reassess our priorities and where our heart is at. One of the greatest tragedies in this life is the masses of us that are not honest with ourselves and our true identities. That haven’t learnt to understand their Why.

October 1, 2020

Exploring your Creativity

Do you struggle to see yourself as creative? Is it time to start exploring your creativity?

This is something I have struggled with most of my life. With a super creative family I have often seen myself as the one that got the ‘raw deal’ in the creativity department. I have agonized over the beautiful paintings, sculptures, hand-made clothes or woodwork that my family seemed so proficient at. Nothing I ever did could meet the standards they had set. In MY eyes! They always recognized my creative side, it was me that didn’t see my own value! A sure sign that I needed to start exploring my creative side.

We are all different and we express our creativity in different ways.

While I could get away with a half decent pencil sketch, I was terrible at painting and useless at molding anything into a recognizable shape. Lol. What I’ve come to understand now is that there are different types of creatives. My parents and sister are the hands-on kind of creative. They are the ‘artists’ in the family. They are good at painting, woodwork, pottery, you name it! I was never good at these things and it bothered me! I wanted to be able to create things with my hands like they did. But, my creativity is just different to theirs. My mind works differently, and I see the world in a different way. I don’t have creative hands, I have a creative mind. A storyteller’s mind.

September 22, 2020

The Value of Connections

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The Value of Connections

In the world as we know it, do we even recognize the value of connections?

The internet is overflowing with useful and useless information. We are faced with split second choices on what offers us value. Constantly. I mean constantly! I cannot tell you how many times I have started reading a blog or watching a video only to click away with a heavy sigh realizing I have wasted precious moments of my life. Now this might sound mean and that is not my intention. We all have different motivations and what works for some might not work for others. That is one of the beautiful things about life, there is a place for everybody.

But, we can also get stuck searching for ‘our tribe’ and get lost along the way. My very long-winded point here is I don’t want you to feel like my ramblings are a waste of your time. I want you to feel like you have landed on the page of someone as real as you are, who understands that your time is precious. Don’t get me wrong, I’m gonna ramble! That’s what I’m here for! But I hope my ramblings will include words that make you feel at ease, understood and hopefully inspired to live your best life.

So often we look at what separates us instead of what connects us.

I want us to see those similarities and remember we are part of one big family. The world would be a different place if we all learned to see each other more as ‘the same’ rather than as ‘different’. We all love, we all hurt, we all dream and we all hope. If we could recognize this in each other what a difference it could make! Imagine if we didn’t hide our emotions. We would immediately know if it was time to back off or time for a cuddle. But, we have been suppressing our emotions for so long we don’t even know how to read each other anymore.

Having emotions at all is almost unacceptable. In the work place we act like robots, our shields well in-tact. By the time we get home to our families we are so tired of the façade we literally break down and our emotions are released like a flood. But, the truth of the matter is, if we showed them more we would more easily accept them. And, accepting our emotions is the starting point for being able to express them.

September 13, 2020

Manage Your Emotions in 5 Easy Ways

Disclosure: Some of the links are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

Manage Your Emotions in 5 Easy Ways

I’ve been thinking a lot about our emotions lately.

Our emotions are there in every waking moment. But, they are so much a part of you, do you ever stop to consider how you manage your emotions? Or, do you tend to shrug them off if they don’t suit you?

Our emotions, or our feelings, are our ‘guiding light’ through this life. They warn us when we might be about to get hurt and they excite us when something major is happening for the positive. Although they are super reliable, they are not always convenient. They force us to sit up and pay attention. In a world full of ups and downs this is often not welcome and we tend to close ourselves off from our emotions.

Do you hide from your emotions?

You might have seen a post I put up recently on Instagram asking this question. I think that too often we just ‘don’t want to go there’. We don’t want to discuss the suggestion to move to another city. We avoid making that appointment with the Doctor to check out a niggle. Or, we would rather walk away than have another argument with the kids over who gets to sit in the front seat! Emotions can be overwhelming and exhausting and sometimes we’d rather just walk away.

Is walking away the best way to manage the situation?

In some situations it might be the best thing to do, to walk away. It could be the difference between letting something blow over and having things go so far that there’s no coming back. Sometimes walking away is the right thing to do. But, what you need to avoid is letting your emotions stew inside you. That is unhealthy. That turns to bitterness, resentment and anger and can start to work like a poison on your heart and soul. There is a fine line that we need to learn to recognize. We need to learn to assess our emotional state and reel ourselves in when necessary. Let’s look at some ways to manage our emotions.

August 6, 2020

Random Acts of Kindness: How to Make a Difference

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Do you believe that a random act of kindness can make a difference?

How would you feel if a stranger walked up to you and gave you a bunch of flowers? Or, someone tapped you on the shoulder just to let you know how incredible you look in that dress? How would this random act of kindness make you feel, and how can you make a difference through small acts of kindness?

Do you believe you have it in you to make a complete stranger happier? Have you considered this before? We encounter hundreds of people in our lives, pass them by on the street. Sadly we seldom take the time to reflect on who they are and what they are going through in this life. I’d like to have a conversation about how we can affect the world around us and the way we live our lives by being more tuned in to the people around us. Those people are Mothers, Fathers, Sons and Daughters and they are loved by someone.

I would like to set a challenge to you (and to myself) to go out and study the faces of the people you see walking passed you in the mall. Be subtle, lol! We don’t want to freak anyone out! Just look at the lines on their faces. Do they seem happy? Do they seem troubled? Try to picture them sitting in their favourite chair. Maybe someone brings them a cup of tea. Here comes a grandchild to sit up on a knee for story time. Or, a teenage boy has just gotten a phone call and he’s heading off to meet up with his friends.

We ALL have people we love. We ALL have a story. And, we ALL want to be accepted in this life. I want you to see these people as the same as you. Recognize that they need the same things that you do. Now, how can we make a difference to these people?

July 26, 2020

Top 10 Meditation Tips for Beginners

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For just over a year now I have been practising a daily meditation.

This is something that I considered many, and I mean MANY, years ago but always had a crazy busy mind that just refused to be still. I wish that someone had handed me a list of top 10 meditation tips for beginners back then! But then something clicked in me. I started down this path of self-discovery and self-development which led me very organically to meditation. After practising meditation for over a year I do not consider myself an expert on the subject however I do believe wholeheartedly in the benefits. It has become so important to me that I feel cheated if I go a day without it. The sense of calm and clarity that I get from meditation cannot be achieved through any other methods that I have tried.

Being a Mum, my methods would include holding my breath and counting to 10!

Disclosure: Some of the links are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

If you’ve never tried meditation before I can 100% guarantee you are in the “that’s kinda woo hoo” corner, and I totally understand! I’ve been there.

But, it’s only because we have been convinced by this crazy world we live in that it’s all go, go, go and stopping is for losers. Sound about right? Well, when you get to that point where you realize that stopping is essential, and you’ve had your brakes off for so long you just don’t know how anymore, it’s time to try it out.

Mastering it is not easy, but trying it is. Start, just start. Just sit, close your eyes for 10 minutes and listen to the sound of the birds outside your window or the waves crashing. Even the sound of the fridge running or the pump in the fish tank can do the trick. Breathe. That’s all. For now. Just enjoy the complete surrender of giving yourself a break. Eventually you will start to feel like you are connecting with yourself on a whole new level that you never have before, but for now all you need to do is take that precious moment and breathe.

July 16, 2020

12 Self-Care Tips on a Budget

Tips on how can we achieve an impactful level of self-care on a budget

I don’t know about you but when I hear self-care I think of a) time I do not have and b) overpriced ‘spa days’. 12 self-care tips on a budget does not come to mind.

So, I’m here today to give you a few tips on how you can give back to yourself without having to organize a babysitter or take out a loan.

Let’s start with what self-care really means. In this busy life we all live, it quite simply comes down to taking time for yourself. Time away from EVERYTHING. It means having a moment where you acknowledge your own feelings and give yourself permission to breathe. Really, it’s about shaking off the rest of the world for a moment and allowing yourself to just be you.

So, how do we make self-care more achievable?

We have to take a closer look at ourselves for this one! Why do we tell ourselves there isn’t enough time and that self-care can wait? We look at the lists we have prepared of ‘things to do’ and cannot see a way to fit in time for ourselves. The reality is, it’s up to us. Taking time for yourself can be anywhere from 5 minutes to 5 hours. Yes, if you have been denying yourself for too long you will probably need more time, but you can start small. When you see that the act of completely switching off from your stressors relaxes your shoulders and lightens your load, you will want to add 5 more minutes!

How about we start by being completely honest with ourselves? Take a moment to think about how much time you spend scrolling on your phone. We fall into a trap and before you know it you’ve lost 2hrs of your life (or more). There are different reasons we go on the internet but mainly we are either looking for information or inspiration. The problem is once we are in the mindset of finding inspiration we kinda don’t want to give up until we find it. So, we scroll and we scroll. In the end we toss the phone into a corner feeling frustrated. We don’t feel inspired and we have lost precious time that could have been focused on our self-care. Am I right? So, instead of getting lost in the scroll, let’s have a look at our self-care tips on a budget to get us started.

Disclosure: Some of the links are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

What small steps can I take today?

Quick and easy:

Make a hot cup of tea or coffee and sit quietly by yourself with your thoughts. No distractions. Walk out into the garden if you need to but make sure you have those few quiet moments alone. This is self-care tip no.1 because it’s an easy, no-excuses start to taking time for yourself.
Paint your nails. Again, the self-care comes in the time spent alone. Painting your nails can be a great exercise in mindfulness and gets your head out of the craziness of daily life.
Learn how to breathe deep, clear breathes. When we are stressed we tend to breathe shallow, anxious breaths. Try to focus on taking deep breaths, this is a quick and very effective way to calm yourself almost immediately and self-care is not possible without being calm.
Eat well. We all enjoy our treats but try to get into the habit of eating food that energizes your body – read my blog on Smoothies for inspiration on self-care for your body in a healthy and super speedy way.